The secret to avoiding burnout is to develop resilience.

Dr Victoria Jenkins and Dr David Purves

 The invincibility of youth doesn’t die, it simply fades away. Resilience is the lengthening of this process, prolonging health, vitality and well-being. When you invest in your resilience you are saving in your life bank.

It is easy for most people to run flat out for twenty yards and then take a break. Many can run flat out for fifty or even one hundred yards before taking a break. Short bursts of high intensity are easily managed. However, life is not like running a race where you get to stop and take a break. You cannot pause from living! Therefore, you need to find ways to both achieve and perform while also living successfully and well. The name for this balancing act is psychological resilience. The opposite is vulnerability or burnout!

Resilience is synonymous with achievement and success in any field of human endeavor.  You are unlikely to do well in life - or sustain your achievements at the very least – without this. So, what do we mean by resilience? 

It is the process of successful adaptation, both physically and mentally, to your most difficult or challenging life experiences.  That process needs to be flexible so you can adjust your approach when necessary, allowing you to make the most of the circumstances in front of you.  And it’s what helps us to bounce back from demands we have placed upon ourselves internally (or others have placed upon us externally), quickly. 

Resilience consists of a combination of cognitive, behavioral, physical, and environmental factors. To know these is to have the keys to the kingdom. First: -

You must value yourself.

Let’s start with the most fundamental aspect of resilience. Your well-being has to be important to you. This may sound obvious, but it is so common for high-achieving people to carelessly damage their physical or mental health. In essence, it is a failure to understand that if you burn yourself out you are the one who has damaged yourself. Only you have responsibility for you! Generally, you are careful with your car and you are careful with your treasured possessions. Well, you have to think of yourself as a person with value and therefore you need to look after yourself because no one else can. Give attention to how you feel. Listen to your body and prioritize your long-term goal of life success over small problems that although may seem large, they really are not.

 Most problems are small problems.

Stress magnifies problems by reducing your ability to perceive alternatives to the problems in front of you. This blinkering effect is responsible for most preventable disasters and many ordinary accidents. It is part of the human survival system whereby threats to life are impossible to ignore and anything that is not associated with the threat is temporarily ignored. This narrowing of focus works well if you are threatened by a wild animal as it gives you the best chances for survival. But if you perceive your threat to be a work-related issue then the blinkering effect puts you at a definite disadvantage because it seriously limits mental access to alternatives.

Problem is another way of saying life. And as life passes so do problems. But if you treat each problem you encounter as a life and death matter that induces our innate biological survival mechanisms, then the blinkering effect will kick in and give you the adrenaline surge needed for survival. You will flounder around burning energy and resilience until a solution is found. However, when you look back two weeks later it will seem like it was a small problem that didn’t in fact need that level of effort. Each episode of this pointless struggle burns resilience until the bank is empty. So you need to remember that, as time testifies, all problems are small problems and no problem is worth burning resilience for.

Make stress an option not a necessity

Obviously, performance normally improves in line with greater effort exerted.  But you are human and not a machine, so you are designed to tire in time.  The more resilient among us all will keep going for longer, but no one can sustain 100% maximum performance at maximum energy, forever.  If you try to do this, you will find your energy starts to deplete and your system floods with cortisol and adrenaline - the body’s stress response. 

 Cortisol changes your perception, you literally see things differently when too stressed.  It supresses your normal immune system function so you pick up more coughs and colds and can’t fight infection normally.  It makes you insulin resistant, so you may put on weight.  It impacts your sleep so you can’t get good quality rest.  You will often complain of headache or back ache.  And it lowers your mood, you start to feel burnt out. Unless you do something about that kind of stress on your system, you run the risk of clinical depression. 

 So try to find your sweet spot at 80% output.  Let good enough be good enough…70% is still a first-class degree.  But leave some petrol in the tank so when you need to step up, you have the energy to apply yourself and carry something through, without breaking yourself in two. 

 You are not the problem.

Human vulnerability often looks and feels like responsibility. When you care and when you take the things in your life seriously, then you feel responsible for them. But, you have to be careful because it is very easy to be fooled into taking responsibility for things that are not your responsibility. Humans have a difficult time in telling the difference.

 The fundamental thing to recognize is that as a normal human being you are unlikely to be entirely responsible for any problems you face. There are many forces at work in the world that can create problems for you. Things like sexism, racism, bullying, or a culture of over-work.  These things are often beyond your control and you need to see them as processes that are independent of you. Therefore, a good thing to remember is that while you may have a problem it is very unlikely that you are the problem. Don’t personalize things that don’t need to be personal.

 Mindful, compassionate, and positive

Research into happiness suggests we fare far better when we live by three simple principles – to be mindful, compassionate to others, and have a sense of gratitude.  You are more likely to enjoy a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction if you can focus fully on what you are doing in the present moment, treat others with dignity, and view the glass as half-full. 

 Being mindful means 80% of your life should be foused on the present, not tilted toward the future catastrophizing and contingency planning for things that may or may not happen.  It’s a false economy – you can’t make plans for an unknown future all the time, doing so just weakens your ability to respond effectively and resourcefully when you do need to call upon yourself to address something important.  Clearly, our ‘here and now’ reality is getting short shrift if we aren’t truly present. 

Be a noodle man and not a totem pole

In a howling storm, a noodle man will twist and turn far better than a totem pole. Your mental resilience improves tremendously if you are prepared to flex and adapt to whatever comes your way.  Sadly, with age often comes physical stiffness which is why older people are prone to fractures after falls. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Physical flexibility is a life choice that can be made and followed through. Likewise, psychological flexibility is also a choice. If you can bend and Mold your assessments and responses, depending on the circumstance, you are likely to achieve better outcomes.  If you are rigid in your thinking style, have concrete expectations of how things should be, see things in black and white, all-or-nothing terms, then in the end you will find yourself angry, disillusioned, withdrawn, and easily prone to snap or breakdown. 

 Sit with it

Times of extreme stress and pressure are uncomfortable both emotionally and physically.  Trying to shut that out with a ‘stiff upper lip’ doesn’t work.  You will simply find your system manifests the stress in a different way – you somatize (your body rebels), developing irritable bowel syndrome, stress-related insomnia, or eczema, for example. 

 It’s best to sit with and acknowledge how you feel, not rush off to tranquilize what’s going on with food, alcohol, spending money, and so on.  Or take things out on those closest to you.  Your ability to effectively tolerate discomfort without trying to squash and deny, or pass it over to someone else, makes a huge difference in terms of how in control of yourself you are and, ultimately, how successfully you will bounce back from difficult circumstances.

 Emotion regulation

Sitting with distress requires you to tolerate discomfort.  How do you do that?  You might take some space to reflect and contemplate.  You might push heavy weights to channel your frustration or do yoga breathing to calm your system.  You might listen to some music that resonates or have a massage.  Talking it through with a close friend or colleague is often a wise move.

 For many, just writing out what you are thinking and feeling helps achieve some perspective. Where appropriate perhaps you should take action, meeting whatever difficulties you are having with assertiveness or problem-solving skills. 

 At the end of the day, when feeling negative emotion, it helps to remind ourselves that ‘this too shall pass’.

 Do you like what you do everyday?

At a fundamental level, we need to enjoy something about our day, each day, to have a reason to wake up and get going.  It is not enough to only find something outside of work, there needs to be at least an element of the work itself you find engaging in some way to make it sustainable.  So, if you are not currently in such a position, ask yourself how can I achieve this?  What do you need to address, do more of, or - even less of - to make that a reality? 

 We know that people who are engaged in their work report higher levels of happiness and interest overall than those disengaged - who report higher levels of stress. 

 On balance, it is likely that, if our social time is spent complaining about work, then this causes the kind of negative stress that will ultimately take its toll.  If we are to be resilient and sustain performance over time, we need to first be reasonable about what we are asking of ourselves.  We can’t expect ourselves to successfully navigate the twists and turns of a job that, at the most intrinsic level, is just not really what we want.  

 What do you do to transcend your ordinary?

Stepping back and taking a moment, disengaging from the circumstances causing that stress, means you can regroup mentally and get perspective.  If we want to make good decisions and be resilient under pressure, we need to be able to see the bigger picture. 

 Lots of people need activity to step away from work.  It would be lovely if we could all sit quietly and meditate regularly, but lots of people find this difficult to sustain in a meaningful way.  What helps you transcend your ordinary day-to-day?  What absorbs you completely? 

 For many people, religious faith offers a path to connect with something bigger than oneself, coming together and engaging in prayer with others.  Another might find reading takes them into a world different to their own.  Some people find they can absorb themselves in playing the piano, or painting.  Others by singing in a choir or horse-riding.  Running outside during the spring reminds us of the beauty of nature, as does sailing on an open sea.  Whatever it may be, we all need at least one thing we can lose ourselves in fully and on a regular basis.  Doing so helps us step back, gain perspective, and promote our resilience.

 Look after your physical self

To be mentally resilient you must take care of your body.  You need to sleep properly - a good 8 hours a night.  You also need to eat properly, exercise well, drink only small amounts of alcohol, and drink plenty of water. 

 The big message these days is ‘look after your gut’ – the relationship between our gut biome and mental health is a hot topic right now, with burgeoning research that demonstrates the importance of the relationship between bacteria in the intestine and our immune system function, as well as depression and anxiety disorders. 

 Clients often lament that they can do all these things relatively easily until they get busy and then it all flies out the window.  So, you need to think ahead, and prepare for those busy times.  You know they are coming, don’t wait and see how it goes.  Take a good quality probiotic and multivitamins, and have nuts, fruits, protein bars, and the like within easy reach for those points when you can’t get the time – or perhaps even the appetite – for a proper meal.  Have a water bottle on your desk.  Don’t fill up on sugar, bad carbs and alcohol in the face of stress, you will end up feeling lost and unwell pretty quickly. 

 It’s a shame that alcohol is such a negative when it comes to resilience.  But there’s no getting around the fact it just is.

 Social support

The quality of our social support is critical when it comes to coping with pressure and bouncing back quickly.  There is a negative, causal relationship between stressful life events and poorer health outcomes, both physically and mentally. 

 We all need at least one or two people on the planet with whom we can be our authentic selves, feel understood and accepted.  Indeed, it is so important that effective, supportive, reciprocal relationships change that causal pathway between stress and poor health – we are literally likely to live longer, less likely to have heart disease and less likely to have mental health problems if we have good quality relationships – a powerful force therefore in our resilience.   

Grow into leadership

The natural progression for ability is leadership. Acquired knowledge and experience are some of the most valuable assets any company can grow from within its own ranks. Therefore, the duty of each individual employee is to create within themselves an environment where their value to the company is available through the opportunity for leadership.

Leadership is a role that you must grow into. You start growing into this role long before leadership opportunities arise. Because you need to practice resilience both within yourself and in your relationships with others. This gives you the tools for further progression and the ability to manage real responsibility.  The tools of successful leadership are mental flexibility, the recognition of your personal value and the reluctance to sacrifice your well-being, and the ability to recognize that all problems are simply problems to solve and do not require the life-or-death level of stress to solve them. The deeper understanding is that there are many processes at work that you have no control over and with this the recognition that you cannot control everything and must only take responsibility for things that are really and genuinely your responsibility. Great leaders look after themselves first and foremost because it gives them greater longevity doing the things they love.

 Resilience is the recipe for success

Taken as a whole the paths to resilience are also the paths to continued success both in your career and in your life generally. Combining resilience and ambition is a recipe for success. As psychologists, we see our professional practices filled with those who have chosen to ignore the signals from their bodies, the advice from people close to them, and the sheer physical distress of stress. They have put the opinions of others before their own value and sold their vitality in a poor deal. They put themselves last (in many cases) and assumed they could change later when it became critical. The path they chose (for no one chose it for them) brought them to our office door via ill health, damaged relationships, and psychological breakdown. The path they chose did not bring them the things they hoped for. It is our hope that you choose and different path.